We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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