It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i think i just lost a toe
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
