i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
