He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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