people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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