Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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