How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
