people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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