Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
