Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
