we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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