you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I touched a dick in church today
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
