Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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