You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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