She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
