we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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