her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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