Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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