Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
