You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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