nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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