wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
