did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
