I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
