man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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