Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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