you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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