SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
