It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
