Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
