is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
