So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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