Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
