I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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