I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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