It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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