i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
