I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
