No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You left your phone here
Wait...
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