I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
