i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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