that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
