I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
