the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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