The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
