I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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