just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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