We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
