I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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