Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
