No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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