You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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