..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize