I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
