Taylor Swift is so right about you.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
And then he peed in my hair
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