This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
