had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
