8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm like, not good at living.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
