the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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