we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
