It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
