Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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