If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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