You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
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she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
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He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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