The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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