Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
