so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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