mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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