How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
